Well boys and girls it finally happened. You have to keep in mind that Joe and I have been out golfing this year, A LOT! Neither of us has golfed in at least 8 years or so, except for the obligatory couple of times a year for conventions or some-such-thing. Well after palying way too much Tiger Woods Golf on the Wii all winter long, we decided to have a try at the real deal this year. We started out with a day that went from nice, cool and sunny, to a little wind and misty rain all the way to playing in almost a damned blizzard. But we prevailed and have been out almost 100 times this year (and our season here is only about 5 months or a little more). So that ain't half bad, although we still are. We shoot about the same scores all the time. Not much better, not much worse, but again, it is our first year in many years so it is OK.
On to the story. We had just arrived atop the 5th hole which is a 284 yrd par 4. The elevation drops from the tee box to the green by atleast 70 or 80 feet. The green is protected by a line of trees to the west and a big old clump of clovery hell to the east. And the approach is protected by two little training bra type humps. A heckuva green to hit in to. Most play it short and safe, but not us. We are too dumb and brazen for that.
We are standing there, like we have 99 times in the past and down below are 4 old people. Joe's comment was, "Can't they move any faster? God, I've seen them move faster to get up to the buffett line." Anyhow, it was going to be a while before we were going to hit. These two guys come up behind us that had been playing and stopped short of the tee box. I said that it was going to be a while as the dynamic 4-some of oldsters sped their way down the course, so we may as well join up and all play together so these two guys behind us did not have to wait. They agreed and we stood there talking. The one kid was from Billings, MT, about two hours away. The other guy, an older guy was from here. They did not know each other before the day, and we had never seen either of them.
Glancing down the slope to see where the oldsters were, and more to make sure that none of them had died on the way down, I saw they were on the green. Well Joe had tee'd up his ball but was waiting to hit. The kid from Billings said, "Pretty optimistic. Thinking you are going to hit them on your drive." I said that both Joe and I (More Joe than I) had been on the green a time or two and it is do-able. "OK" the kid said. Well finally Ethel, Prudence, Harlis and Jedadiah (I'm just guessing, but the names seem to fit) made their way off the green. Joe was taking some practice swings and said, "I wonder if anybody has ever hit a hole-in-one on this hole?" I said that would be pretty damn good considering the placement of the green and all and that if anyone did they should go on tour. By now, you smart reader you, you have figured out what happened but I'm going to tell you anyway.
Joe hauls off and hits the sucker long and to the left, towards the trees and shit. It starts to draw back in and I saw it hit the green and then lost it behind the trees. Jokingly in a Bill Murray voice I say, "It's in the hole!" He says yeah, right, it came in to fast and probably bounced off. I hit next, and we won't talk about that. Then the kid. He proceeds to loose 3 balls. Then the older guy kind of shanks one off to the junk on the right. We all finally get to the green and there is no ball to be seen (hey that rhymes). There is a crater like divit where Joe's ball hit, but no ball. I say, "Dude, I bet its in the hole." He said no way. I walk past the hole, well away from it since I was not going to look first and walked up to where it could have gone. I hear him (Joe) yell from behind me. I won't publish here what he said but it was along the lines of, "Oh gee and shucky-darn, look! My ball has found it's way into the hole." It was not quite like that, but in case any young readers hit this blog we will pretend that is what he said.
So not only did he ponder on about hitting a goddamned hole-in-one, then he hauls off and does it with two other witnesses there to attest to the fact. Wow! It was increadible and very, very cool to see. Now he gets his name on a deal at the course and his head may swell up to the size of a Zepplin, but that is OK, he has earned that. So, congrats to you Joe Mallo for hitting a hole-in-one on a par 4. I guess all the booze for guys night is on you tonight. It's about friggin' time!
*#*#*#*#*#*#*# UPDATE *#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
I know you won't believe this, and that is understandable since it is nuts, but another guy by the name of John Miller hit a hole-in-one on the exact same hole on the same day about an hour and a half after we were there and Mr. Mallo hit his (so now I guess you could say they are hole-in-one buddies!). If anyone reading this is a statistical genius, please let me know what the chances of that might be! An article about it can be found here: http://www.sheridanmedia.com/site/local_sports.html
It says:
RESIDENTS’ ACCOMPLISHMENT - History was made at Kendrick Golf Course yesterday afternoon, with two players getting a hole-in-one on the same hole within an hour of one another. First, Joe Mallo hit a hole-in-one on the par four 5th hole around 12:30, and John Miller went through and hit his hole-in-one on the 5th hole at 1:30. Kendrick Golf Course Professional Brian James says having two players get a hole-in-one on the same hole in the same day is very unusual, and a first at Kendrick Golf Course.
It also made the local rag today. So again, congrats to "Joe the Golf Pro". To all you golfers out there, you should buy the only t-shirt on the web endorsed by "Joe the Golf Pro". The Out Of This World Outfitters Lunar Golf T-shirt can be purchased here: http://www.outofthisworldoutfitters.com/ordertshirts.asp Buy yours today so you to can hit a hole-in-one on a par 4! (no actual guarantee that you will hit a hole-in-one on a par 4, past performance is not inditive of future results.)
Regards,
Aaron the COO
www.ootwo.com
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